Erratic thinking, blending in ideas to form a logic which doesn't exist yet.
When I woke up this morning and made my cup of coffee (in what shouldn’t be considered a habitable space)… I just felt really shit.
I felt the need to drown out the everything.
So, I spent my time playing games, listening to music, a little reading and contemplating the meaning of life.
I just realised that I had been procrastinating. So I turned it all off. Okay Focus:
It all came flooding back to me that I needed to make a major change in my life today. Okay, I need to get some resume’s out.
WHEN DID I GET SO BAD AT KEEPING FOCUS!!!???
I have 2 hours left before work and only one other weekday free this week! I could go now, but I want to see Bek before work. Also, I still feel pretty down. I doubt I’d make the impact I need in the state I am. No way I’d hire me.
Scratch today then. I need to focus and stop playing games until I make some progress. I should probably avoid my computer altogether for a bit.
Starting now, I need to focus on old me:
- Live well. Don’t compromise. Say no. Eat a healthy meal before work. Get up early. Clean room. Make bed.
- Get to work 15min early. Write out roster for the next fortnight.
- Plan for architecture ventures for 3:30-5pm after work every day.
- Focus. Make changes. Nothing good just ‘happens’. Make it happen.
Money is suddenly tight.
I have been hesitant about applying in Adelaide. But now, I face either starting my own design service - or more traditional employment.
At first, my entrepreneurial instincts kicked in and demanded I take action and use blogs, twitter and Gumtree to reach out for small projects. This could be the most stimulating and terrifying move I ever made so far!
This then developed into thoughts of starting my own design firm, but I soon saw that my limited design degree wouldn’t compete with Architectural masters degrees. Is it even legal??? Can I design a house legally yet? I need guidance.
After consideration, I opened up my mind to simply joining an existing business and absorbing as much knowledge as I could. Look, how bad could it be? I’d have a good reference and industry knowledge. It can only help. And I need it.
Tomorrow, I print off 4 portfolios. So:
Monday, I shall try and win a new job.
If it looks grim, I then will spend Tuesday and Wednesday assembling a blog for small-time projects that need designing. This is plan B. It’s bigger than plan A, so I will put the whole day into planning the thing with my girlfriend… and maybe even a focus group of old Facebook friends.
The outcome of next week could ultimately determine my professional future for the next 2 years. It could also either make or break my relationship.
“A business has to be involving, it has to be fun, and it has to exercise your creative instincts.” - Richard Branson
It’s pretty hard to succeed if these elements aren’t there.
I have identified several things that caught my attention. I thought:
"Whoah, I can dedicate serious aspects of my life looking into this."
"It looks useful!!",
just to find that it was… NOT… really.
You know, the ‘pipe-dream’, ‘too expensive’, ‘no real-world value’, ‘insanely boring and full-on unless you already know the basics which take 3 months to learn’ kind of realisation. Yeah that.
Some of the things that have really gripped me:
- aircraft, more specifically
- SPACESHIPS (holy shit i love science fiction spacecraft)
- space travel (the real world kind)
- artificial limbs
- creating an army of robots and using them to…
- create the foundations of a nation, free of any dogma
- life as a creative film guy or working in animation
- life as an electronics hardware technician
- robotic engineering
- programming (for several platforms)
- trading the stock market, in order to make enough money to buy any of the previous
As you can see, these are all quite challenging fields to make a living from.
Now, I’m not the kind of person who avoids challenges. I embrace them. I did at some point notice, though: I have an affinity for all of those. I play video games and watch movies that feature these things. Though, once I tried to envisage them as professions in the real world, the idea crumbled.
They lacked either funding, good lifestyle options, or the technology needed to get me going. Some had benefits I’d love to reap, but seemed like the monotonous day-to-day operations, that would make me hate it. Whatever I do in life, needs to be dynamic.
I will gladly work in problem-solving job fields. But it seems that employers are much more interested in a piece of paper from an institution, than innovation. There is no way to prove your innovation in the professional world, without being given a chance. You won’t be put in an area with much room for innovation, without references that can vouch for your skills. Catch 22.
You can however, get into those hard spots by knowing the right people. This is called networking. I’m starting to do this, but I find that it is still not ‘quite what the company needs at this point’.
(Maybe I still need to work out what I need… But I’m getting off track now. Or maybe not… let’s pan this out:)
I need a dynamic job. I need to work for myself.
I’m now a qualified (architectural) designer. To work in the industry, I need to patch up my lesser skills. I need to get into a position where I can do it all myself. I need to be the go-to-guy. I need to open all of the doors… or at least be able to.
I also need/want full independence from the system of money, but still reap all the benefits of it. Here’s where all this writing starts to form a point:
I read a whole bunch of articles about 3D printing and looked at its day-to-day potential. Micro-manufacturing everything I need at home is a good way to have whatever I want. I need a 3D printer. It will practise my skills in design. I will quickly build a real-world portfolio by creating well-documented, critical and considered objects. It also has a high probability of being handy to those around me as a ‘product’.
If I can model a 3D object quickly and effectively and make it real - the right people will pay big bucks for it. It COULD pay for itself, but will most likely stay a hobby.
What separates my desire to print in 3D from the other things that have gripped me:
- it has real-world value and market, now
- it’s a stepping stone to similar, better technologies further along the line
- creating custom designs in furniture and decor for clients can be a new process of, “do you like this 3d model? i’ll have it in your house by tomorrow”
- it supplements my existing skill-set; and is supplemented by my existing skills (I can model in 3D and I can create original form) and therefore,
- I can learn it quickly
- I can start doing it for $500. I paid more for my first iPod.
I go through similar justifications for almost anything. Most of them are also quite realistic, but rarely do they use my existing skills and have near-immediate real-world benefits.
Will I get one? Maybe not now, but some day soon?
I can’t say. Such is life. Maybe I’ll wake up in a week and realise 10 reasons why it would be the best thing ever. Or maybe 10 reasons why the time just isn’t right.
I certainly need to save right now, but I also need an independent creative direction. Let us wait and see. Maybe something else on the list shines through instead. Doubt it thought. The real world is harsh and you usually have to meticulously pull your dreams into reality.
I’ll dream some more for now.
"there is this plague of same-ness, which is killing the human joy"
—Dylan Moran (via drencrome)
— Ray Bradbury (August 22, 1920–June 5, 2012) paraphrased :)
I am working on my design portfolio!
Listening to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UK-lGSYKaaM
I graduated yesterday.
I received a Bachelors of Design Studies (in Architectural Studies).
At the ceremony, there was a speech presented by Mr Guy Maron about sustainability and the potential challenges of the future. I need to meet this gentleman.
Don’t be a cunt, no matter how much you have been wronged. Salvage every opportunity with a ‘positive retaliation’.
Solve problems. Talk and bridge gaps. Move away towards better things. Don’t run away. Take it head on, like a massive castle wall in a medieval siege. (When you finally crumble, reveal that; instead of building and hiding an army of oppressed anger, you’ve built a mind-blowing force-field or other, inconceivably smarter, defence. Don’t let the attack scare you. Let it give you direction, faster.)
Conflict wastes huge amounts of time and energy that could be instantly spent on progress.
The world is cruel.